walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
