let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
