I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
