I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
