There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
