I hate your face
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
