I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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