i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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