Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
