she smelled like a LAN party
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
