she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
