What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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