my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
