everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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