YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to be your penis for a week.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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