if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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