i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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