I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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