My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
