Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
