I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
