I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
