I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
