So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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