thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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