booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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