i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
pray to the hookup gods
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
