Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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