Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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