as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just cropdusted the office
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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