yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
