its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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