It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
