I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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