I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
