YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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