after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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