so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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