Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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