so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
