Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
