i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
