I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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