Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Two words: nipple clamps
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