I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
