Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
