So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So much rum. So many feels.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize