six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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