idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
