i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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