Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
