I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
