im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
