I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
