well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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