i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
