Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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