I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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