He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
