she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
