Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize