Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
