The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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