i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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