I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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