Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
