I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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